Stuffed ‘Shrooms



  • 12 baby bella mushrooms, cleaned
  • 4 garlic cloves, thinly sliced
  • a few sprigs fresh thyme
  • 3 tablespoons butter or olive oil, plus more to taste
  • 2 chopped shallots
  • 1 ½ cups quinoa
  • Salt and ground black pepper
  • ½ cup Chardonnay, Pinot Grigio, Chablis, or some shitty white wine someone gave you, but you know you’ll never drink it, (or water…)
  • 2.5-3 cups chicken or vegetable stock
  • ¼ cup each freshly grated Parmesan, Romano, Asiago


  1. Preheat oven to 400°F/200°C/Gas 6. Separate mushroom stems from caps. Give the stems a rough chop (you’ll use these in the risotto), leave the caps whole.
  2. Put the mushroom caps on a baking sheet, cavity side up. Give them a quick spray with olive oil. Put a few slivers of garlic in each cap, along with some fresh thyme leaves. Sprinkle all the caps with salt and pepper. Roast those bitches for about 10-12 minutes. Remove from oven and let them hangout while you’re working on the risotto.
  3. Put the butter or oil in a saucepan over medium heat. Get it hot, add the shallots and chopped mushroom stems. Cook, stirring occasionally, until the stems begin to brown, about 5 minutes.
  4. Add the quinoa, and cook, stirring occasionally, until it’s glossy and coated with butter/oil, a couple minutes. Toss in salt and pepper, and then the wine. Stir, letting the liquid bubble away.
  5. Add the stock about 1/2 cup at a time, stirring after each addition and adjusting the heat to maintain a gentle bubble. When the stock has almost cooked away, add more. Continue to cook, stirring frequently and adding stock as necessary; don’t let it get too dry or runny.
  6. After about 20 minutes, give the quinoa a taste. Does it rule? Awesome. Remove from heat and stir in the cheese, just until it melts. Add thyme leaves and additional salt/pepper if needed. Stuff into mushroom caps and serve.

*You will have a shitload of quinoa compared to mushrooms. You can buy extra mushrooms, or use the leftover quinoa in an omelet.

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Revocation – Arbiters of the Apocalypse